I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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