Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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