Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize