i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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