Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize