if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize