he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
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he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
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Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize