I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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