Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
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HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We have started to decorate penises.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
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Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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