at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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