I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize