i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize