i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize