I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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