The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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