When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
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I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
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I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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