maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
His nipple licking is glorious
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