I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
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and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
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I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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