i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize