I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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