He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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