His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
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Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
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Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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