Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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