Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
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listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
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I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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