Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize