I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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