Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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