we have pet lesbian snakes
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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