I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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