im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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