Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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