Pappa wants mamma naked
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
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