You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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