I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm always down for nudity.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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