sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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