His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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