Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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