shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
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hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
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Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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