cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize