apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize