It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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