you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize