and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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