And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize