He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize