A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
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to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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