Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
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i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
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I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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