it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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