Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
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So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize