$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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