At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We smell like vodka and hangover
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